San Francisco Police Interrupts Sex Party Involving Midgets, Emus And a Fountain of Sperm, 71 Arrests

The San Francisco Police Department (SFPD) interrupted an extremely lewd party early this morning in a luxurious residence of the Presidio Heights neighborhood, arresting 71 people and seizing two boars and eight emus.

According to SFPD spokesman, Lieutenant Doug Haroldson, officers were dispatched on the site around 4 AM this morning after some neighbors complained about loud music and “wild animals running on their yard”.

Lt Haroldson says the first policemen who arrived described the scene as “a mix between an orgy and a circus freak show” and immediately called for backup.

“It seems it was a thematic sex party for people with strange fetishes. They had midgets, bearded women, wild animals and a large outdoor fountain filled with 50 gallons of semen.”

Dozens of SFPD officers were called on the site to put an end and to the party and regain control of the total of over 500 guests and catch the wild animals.

“It was an extremely delicate operation. Hundreds of naked people trying to flee with emus and boars with ball gags in their mouths running around. It was a very chaotic scene.”

Agents of the San Francisco Animal Care & Control were called on the site to examine and seize the emus and boars, which apparently belonged to one of the guests.

It took hours for the police to sort things outs and identify everyone, and a total of 71 people were arrested on various charges.

31 of those arrests are minors simply charged with underage drinking, but some accusees face more serious accusations.

17 people are accused of bestiality and animal cruelty after the police found a video showing them having sex with the animals and all face up to 15 years in jail.

According to the SFPD, dozens of other guests could possibly be accused over the next few days.

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