A husband has come under fire after threatening to leave his wife if she takes up a job helping rehabilitate convicts, the majority of whom would be male.
The reintegration of former criminals into society remains a contentious issue, however, and one man has been accused of overstepping the mark after learning his partner was planning on taking up a role to help rehabilitate some of the worst offenders.
According to a post shared to Mumsnet by VioletSky1234, she is planning on taking up a voluntary role on top of her job with social services which will involve her “communicating” with convicts who “may be male.”
Though she refused to be drawn on the specifics of their crimes, the woman did note her husband is opposed to her efforts as he thinks there are others “more worthy” of her help.
One user, posting as Saraclara wrote that it sounded similar to the volunteer work she does which involves “mostly male, and from a demographic that many people have no sympathy with whatsoever.”
The original poster replied: “I have a feeling we may work for the same organization.”
When she told her husband she was planning to take on the role on top of her full-time job, he attempted to “veto” her plans with an ultimatum.
“He has said if I continue he will leave me,” she wrote. “I do understand why he is uncomfortable but don’t agree with his objections.”
The woman explained in a follow-up post that that the role is all about “helping to rehabilitate them so when they’re inevitably released they’re less likely to offend.”
She added that it was not her “choice” to work with male convicts but unfortunately “most people in this category happen to be male.” Though there are “no issues” with her safety her husband said he is only “barely tolerating” what she does as a job now and this was a step too far.
The woman went on to say that the job is “something I enjoy” and was torn over whether to continue on despite her husband’s objections. Yet many of the 299 responses to the original post encouraged her to do exactly that.
Ilovemybeachhut commented: “I wouldn’t be blackmailed over it. It’s my life and I live it as I want.” Though another user, posting as Rainbows*** said “anyone that blackmails in such a way you are better off without.”
Etinoxaurus felt the husband’s response was a massive “red flag” while Saraclara wrote: “whatever his feelings about those people, he still has absolutely no right to dictate that you don’t do it.”
Poppymaewrite said: “I think he’s being very controlling to try and stop you from contributing to a good cause.” She added: “If he said he wanted to volunteer for a good cause, let’s say an animal shelter, but you felt homeless people would benefit more from his service, would you prevent him from volunteering? No.”
Aderyn21, meanwhile, could see both sides. “Sometimes relationships end because two people discover they have different moral values,” they said. “You have a right to live as you please, but he also has a right to decide your values are incompatible with his.”
Though her husband’s threats may border on coercive control, the statistics concerning criminals reoffending in the U.S. make for concerning reading.
According to a study conducted by Leonard A. Sipes Jr, a retired federal senior spokesperson, recidivism—the process by which convicted criminals end up reoffending and reentering prison—is rife in the U.S. justice system despite efforts to rehabilitate.
He estimates 600,000 people are released from state and federal prisons every year with a further nine million released from local jails. His study found that within three years of their release, two out of three former prisoners were rearrested with just 50 percent subsequently incarcerated again.
The incident comes hot on the heels of a viral story in which a husband was slammed for canceling his wife’s upcoming job interview after determining she was a wrong fit for the role.
Elsewhere, another husband garner criticism after upgrading to business class on a long haul flight while leaving his wife back in economy.
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