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Boston, MA | Three members of the so-called Irish mob midgets, a Boston-based criminal organization composed of people of short stature, have been arrested this morning reports the Boston Chronicle. Security camera footage show the three suspects during a home break-in in which the intruders entered the house through the pet door. Authorities also believe the crime organization … Read more
Springfield, Missouri | A 61-year old high school teacher was arrested this morning, after she allegedly assaulted a student with a stapler in order to “keep his mouth shut”. According to witnesses at the Central High School, Dorothy Fransen was furious after one of her students, 17-year old Jeremy Dunlop, kept interrupting her class and making … Read more
Philadephia, PA | 44-year old Bruce Franklin was arrested this morning, after he confessed to killing his wife and eating her flesh while he was stuck with her in an elevator. According to the Philadelphia Police Department, the partially devoured corpse of his wife was lying next to him when he was rescued after being … Read more
A restaurant in the famous New York Chinatown was visited this morning by the NYPD and federal agents, after an investigation showed the owners regularly killed dogs they found in the neighborhood and served them to customers. Agents of both the Food Safety and Inspection Service (FSIS) and the USDA’s Animal and Plant Health Inspection … Read more
Atmore, Alabama | When the prison staff asked 33-year Jeremy Morris if he wanted anything special for his last meal, he answered: “I just want a Bible”. The prison guards of the William C. Holman Correctional Facility thought he wanted to pray and repent, so they gave him an old copy of the King James Bible. … Read more
Celeryville, OH | An Ohio dentist has been arrested this morning after he exacted revenge upon his wife by pulling out all of her teeth after drugging her. Herbert Kingsworth has formally been accused of First and Second-degree assault after disfiguring and intentionally drugging his victim without her consent. The 67-year-old dentist told officers he did it … Read more
An 18-year old woman was arrested this morning after she deliberately ran over her hairdresser seven times with her car. According to the Chicago Police Department, Cassandra Gilmore, from Oak Lawn in Illinois, had her hair cut this morning at Luigi’s Beauty Palace in downtown Chicago, by the famous stylist Francesco Moreno. After seeing the results in … Read more
Newark, New Jersey | A man was arrested on his work site this morning after it was discovered that he was ejaculating in his employer’s coffee every morning. 38-year old Lewis Williams spent the last four years working as the personal assistant of Ms. Linda Moore, executive president of the DANCO engineering firm. Among his tasks … Read more
An elderly man from Salta in Argentina claims that he’s the infamous German dictator Adolf Hitler and that he spent the last 70 years in hiding. In an interview with the ultra-conservative newspaper El Patriota, the naturalized German immigrant explains that he arrived in the country in 1945 with a passport identifying him Herman Guntherberg. … Read more
A Pakistani judge has sentenced a man to be executed after he was expelled 17 times from 6 different mosques for excessive farting during the period of the Ramadan reports the Islamabad Herald this week. The Ramadan is the most important religious festival for Muslims and the judge declared that he had indisposed people of … Read more