Boston: Members of Midget Crime Gang Suspected of 55 Break-ins

Boston, MA | Three members of the so-called Irish mob midgets, a Boston-based criminal organization composed of people of short stature, have been arrested this morning reports the Boston Chronicle. Security camera footage show the three suspects during a home break-in in which the intruders entered the house through the pet door. Authorities also believe the crime organization … Read more

Teacher arrested for stapling a “loudmouth” student’s lips shut

Springfield, Missouri | A 61-year old high school teacher was arrested this morning, after she allegedly assaulted a student with a stapler in order to “keep his mouth shut”. According to witnesses at the Central High School, Dorothy Fransen was furious after one of her students, 17-year old Jeremy Dunlop, kept interrupting her class and making … Read more

Jealous Dentist Drugged and Stole Teeth of Wife Who Cheated on Him

Celeryville, OH | An Ohio dentist has been arrested this morning after he exacted revenge upon his wife by pulling out all of her teeth after drugging her. Herbert Kingsworth has formally been accused of First and Second-degree assault after disfiguring and intentionally drugging his victim without her consent. The 67-year-old dentist told officers he did it … Read more

Woman rolls over hairdresser with her car after he “ruined” her hair

An 18-year old woman was arrested this morning after she deliberately ran over her hairdresser seven times with her car. According to the Chicago Police Department, Cassandra Gilmore, from Oak Lawn in Illinois, had her hair cut this morning at Luigi’s Beauty Palace in downtown Chicago, by the famous stylist Francesco Moreno. After seeing the results in … Read more

Argentina: 128-year-old man claims he is Adolf Hitler

An elderly man from Salta in Argentina claims that he’s the infamous German dictator Adolf Hitler and that he spent the last 70 years in hiding. In an interview with the ultra-conservative newspaper El Patriota, the naturalized German immigrant explains that he arrived in the country in 1945 with a passport identifying him Herman Guntherberg. … Read more